with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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