the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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