Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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