and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
