If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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