grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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