SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
