2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm sobbing to NWA
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
