dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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