Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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