You made me cry and you don't even care
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
