dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
So. Much. Porn.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
