Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
