we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
