They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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