I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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