Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
