My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
