I feel like I'm in dance class right now
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
