So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
