Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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