Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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