i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm at about main and main street
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
