If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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