problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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