Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
