I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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