How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
