Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
