I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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