"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
