i was born a porn star she said
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
