In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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