Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
