Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
