I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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