just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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