I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
