Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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