doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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