I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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