thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
