My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
