I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
