i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
