some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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