THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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