it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
