So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
