sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
